


Belongings

by det395



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Moving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 09:32:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14305815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/det395/pseuds/det395
Summary: Living the life and progressing into the future that Dan and Phil want makes every calculated stretch of their boundaries in the public eye worth it, through moving into a forever home, letting go of the past, and truly settling down after the tour. Or, more simply, what Dan and Phil decide to do with the strange toys and artifacts they've amassed over the years.





	Belongings

Dan only allowed himself to feel slightly guilty whilst he lounged on the couch and watched workers hustle past him with boxes and furniture. By now he had given up on trying to look like he was helping or supervising and just leaned back on the cushions, snacking on crisps and scrolling through photos on his laptop.

 

As a few workers carried nightstands and chairs past him, Dan felt a little baffled, remembering when renting a Uhaul had seemed like too much of an expense when moving. Along with Phil’s father's van, the two of them single-handedly carried and unpacked all of their belongings when first making it to London, trekking up the stairs until they thought they might pass out. They built cheap furniture for days on end, struggling with the toolsets Phil owned, slowly unpacking all their little knick-knacks, taking months to truly decorate the place. It was a time when failing and going into debt was a heavy possibility weighing down on them.

 

Now workers carried carefully coordinated, high-end furniture through the house and set everything up on the smooth wooden floors as time and efficiency prevailed any money worries.

 

This splurge was justified by the timing, freshly home from months of touring, riddled with jet lag and pure physical exhaustion. The stress seemed too much since this wasn’t a little apartment anymore, this was a full house with a basement and guest bedrooms, a backyard and even a front yard. Costing more than Dan could have ever dreamed he’d be able to afford a few years ago, the house was situated perfectly on the outskirts of London where they could still venture to their favourite food places and movie theatre; a forever home.

 

Phil, Dan knew, was feeling just as drained and wanted nothing more than to lounge and play on his Switch, but it was hopeless with so many people around. Dan would watch him, amused, every time he rushed through the living room, cheeks pink from talking, legs bouncing with anxiety. It wasn’t exactly funny for Phil, who was a deer in the headlights as the workers hassled him with questions, but Dan knew by now that if he forced Phil to sit down, he’d feel even worse, riddled with obligation and social anxiety.

 

Phil ran around the house, leading furniture and telling men to watch the walls. He knew Phil was probably having an aneurysm watching boxes being thrown around and trying to guide such sharp-edged furniture up winding stairs. He made a mental note to do something nice later and make Phil relax.

 

All that would be left after today was a pile of boxes stacked up in the front room that they needed to sort through themselves. While it didn’t look like much, the prospect loomed over them.

 

The time flew by faster than he’d expected, Dan only having time to fill up his Tumblr queue for a day and make a dent in their emails, before he heard Phil give gratitude and polite goodbyes at the door. Dan really should have gone over, but the urge to avoid talking to anyone was too strong and he stayed planted in his spot.

 

He pushed his laptop and snacks to the side in time for Phil to come and flop down on his lap, his head on the armrest and side heavy on Dan’s thighs. He leaned his front into Dan’s stomach dramatically, groaning.

 

“Tough day?” Dan asked.

 

“If I ever have to move again I will die of stress,” Phil said, his voice muffled by Dan’s shirt.

 

“Tough luck, we have all those boxes.” Phil rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, sighing dramatically.

 

“Well, the worst is over. I’ll be optimistic.”

 

“Are they done?” Dan asked.

 

“Yeah, we’re fully furnished.” Phil smiled up at him.

 

“No life-threatening accidents either?”

 

“No. I hit my head on one of the door frames, though,” Phil said, causing Dan to laugh.

 

“You’ve clearly built up a thick skull.” Dan grabbed Phil’s face, shaking him gently. Phil swatted his hand away, laughing softly.

 

 “You’ve been working hard. Whatever you want to do to relax, just say it,” Dan said, helping Phil as he hoisted himself up into a sitting position.

 

Phil just sat up and stretched his back, his shoulder blades stretching his shirt into two hard bumps until his joints made an audible popping noise and he dropped his shoulders loose again.

 

Dan shuffled closer, placing his hands firmly on Phil’s shoulders, adjusting his hands so his thumbs could press into his back to the soft spot on either side of his spine, massaging in a circular motion. Phil let out a small noise of content, leaning back.

 

“Can I lay down and you do that?” Phil asked.

 

“Forever the self-indulgent,” Dan laughed, nudging Phil to lay down.

 

“You did say whatever I want, slave.” Phil laid on his stomach, pulling a pillow forward and shoving his hands under where he rested his head.

 

“Rat.” Dan crawled up and sat on Phil’s butt, legs on either side of his hips.

 

Dan immediately massaged his fingers into Phil’s back, starting gently at the nape of his neck, and moving down, pressing hard on either side of Phil’s spine. He then circled his fingers over the soft parts on each side of Phil’s back and ventured slowly down to his waistband before pushing Phil’s shirt up to rub his back with more ease. He slowly felt the pressure ease up as Phil relaxed his back muscles.

 

He pressed hard into the soft parts of Phil’s skin, hands moving over spotted freckles and moles that were so sparse and pale his back looked at first glance like a perfectly white canvas.

 

He repeated his movements a few times and then pressed down on Phil’s arms, moving down the small muscles before reaching his hands and massaging his fingers into the skin, smooth and clear due to the copious amount of moisturizer Phil used.

 

After a few minutes, deep in concentration and trying to remember all the massage appointments he’d ever had, he stepped off Phil’s butt and swiftly turned himself around to sit gently on the dip of Phil’s lower back facing the other way, immediately beginning to rub his hands over Phil’s ass.

 

“Forever the self-indulgent,” Phil mumbled amusedly, voice strained slightly by the pressure on his back.

 

“You get a massage, I get to grope. Win-win,” Dan said, laughing and pushing his hands under Phil’s jeans, taking his time massaging now, hands spread wide to knead against the soft skin.

 

Phil didn’t complain, letting out the odd exclamation of surprise as Dan tested his luck shoving his hands down lower and squeezing handfuls of skin.

 

“Dan?” Phil said, pushing his head up slightly and causing Dan to lose his train of thought, releasing grip on Phil’s ass.

 

“I just remembered we have a double steam shower now. Want to continue this massage there?” Phil said excitedly, and Dan clambered off him.

 

“Oh, I thought you could never move again? Now you’re trying to get laid?” Dan said in a faux whiney voice, holding back a smile so his dimple popped out. He held his hand out for Phil anyways.

 

“You started it. And I think I can muster a bit more energy,” Phil said, clambering up and immediately pulling Dan to the stairs.

 

***

 

They took their time eating breakfast the next day, watching three episodes of some new anime that Dan read about online. Phil laid his feet across Dan’s lap and let himself be swallowed up by an oversized hoodie, the fabric twisting around his chest more each time he moved. His hood was up, acting like a pillow as he sank into the couch cushions, letting his coffee go cold and stain his cup. Without saying a word, they collectively avoided all the unpacking until the obligation started weighing down heavy on them.

 

Once they finally walked over to the pile of boxes, all bent and stacked up on one another, they stood and sighed for a few more moments. It was Phil that finally lurched forward to pull the packing tape off, overcoming his rare procrastination. Dan stood still and watched him for a moment, feeling too groggy to do the same.

 

It wouldn’t have been so hard if it was just odd belongings to find a spot for, but they’d talked about the items in these boxes in particular for days on end. Lots of this stuff, they’d agreed, would end up in the dumpster.

 

The objects pulled out first made up the decorations on top of the drawers next to Phil’s bed, a clear staple for the background of his videos. Pillows and toys, in a whole rainbow of colours, of which there were far too many in these boxes, especially for two grown men.

 

“This is so hard already _,_ even if I don’t think I’ll miss it, I know _they_ are going to miss it,” Phil said.

 

“Okay, but this is our house, not a movie set, Phil,” Dan said.

 

Part of Dan wanted to find space for the stupid little trinkets they’d gifted each other, the media memorabilia that symbolized their favourite movies and bands, and objects that seemed to define their YouTube identity, but as he looked around at the sleek dark wood and gold designs, premium carpets and cream walls, high-end kitchen appliances and television setups, he knew it wouldn’t go. This aesthetic was a new comfort and it was endlessly pleasing for his eyes, the minimalistic comfort and dark modernism he’d always dreamed of, even if he was still that sentimental, hoarding nerd at heart.

 

Dan watched Phil, sitting cross-legged and hunched over so much it must have been uncomfortable, lifting his shirt up at his back. He stared in concentration at the toys, and Dan was bewildered at what he could possibly be thinking about so hard.

 

Suddenly, Phil grabbed all the toys and rearranged them on the floor, quickly throwing them to either side of him.

 

“Keep…garbage,” He said pointing to each pile. “I still need my video background.”

 

“You want to throw out our guinea pig?” Dan asked, letting his mouth fall open dramatically. He dropped to the floor and picked up the small, wooden animal.

 

“What on earth do we need it for?” Phil asked, staring amusedly as Dan held it close to our chest.

 

“I don’t know…we have a special bond.” Dan smiled lightheartedly back, but an unmistakable whine was in his voice.

 

“Are you feeling nostalgic already?” Phil asked, softly.

 

Dan sighed, throwing it back into the small pile of toys to throw out, with other little trinkets he really shouldn’t care about.

 

Dan grabbed another box, a seemingly endless number of toys overflowing it, too. He grabbed them one by one, blobfish, fridge walrus, Calcifer plushie, and pushed them to the keep pile hesitantly.

 

“I thought you wanted to be minimalistic,” Phil said.

 

“These are gifts and stuff we got together, though.”

 

“Everything is, Dan,” Phil said, frowning.

 

Dan pulled his sleeves down distractedly, an aching feeling bubbling up in his chest.

 

“I thought it would be okay but yeah, I’m nostalgic as fuck,” Dan finally said, staring helplessly at the pile still in front of him.

 

“Hey, I know I adjust quicker than you but it’s normal, we were at that flat a long time,” Phil muttered.

 

“It’s not even that, I just care about this stuff because it’s ours.”

 

“We have all this new stuff, now. This is all ours.”

 

“But this is like the old us, like we’re letting go of it all.

 

“Yeah…I know what you mean.” Phil said slowly.

 

Dan grabbed something familiar in the box, holding up a stuffed green toy with a yellow t-shirt and bulging yellow eyes, slightly worn at the seams over the years. He was surprised he’d ever let something like this go into the “possible dumpster” boxes, he thought as he hugged it to his chest. It was one of Phil’s first gifts to him, and it felt like another lifetime, alone in his childhood home hugging the toy almost obsessively at night wondering why it ached so much to be so far from Phil.

 

In university it was the same, sitting next to him as he tried to force himself through writing contracts before he’d let himself go be distracted at Phil’s house. At the Manchester apartment, he’d end up with it in his arms if they’d gotten in a fight, like a piece of Phil he could take to comfort him. It just wasn’t needed so much anymore, it got lost in the piles of stuff.

 

Phil smiled at him hugging the toy, not having to ask which pile it belongs in.

 

“I think our house will always be filled with stuff like this, no matter how hard we try. Don’t worry Dan, it’s still us,” Phil said, pulling some picture frames out of a box to reveal Iron Man and the Hulk, to which Phil quickly tossed aside into the garbage pile.

 

They pulled out more toys, a small Edward Cullen figure and various masks, giggling and feeling a touch of the amusement they’d first had owning such random objects. Crumpled and faded and old, the jokes just seemed more cringe-worthy than anything now, and they threw them into the garbage pile.

 

A few boxes in, Phil pulled out bed sheets, squares of blue and green patterned across. Dan immediately recalled the debates they’d had over this. He stayed quiet, watching Phil furrow his eyebrows and set his mouth in a tight line. He set down his Guild Wars merchandise momentarily.

 

“We could set this up in one of the rooms at the end of the hall for guests and filming. At least for a few years,” Phil mumbled.

 

Dan couldn’t lie anymore, he got excitement sharing hints and jokes. Some days he so desperately wanted to be loud and overt. Wearing earrings and sparkles, painting his nails, making promiscuous jokes and talking about queer media, it gave him a sense of identity and pride that he’d never had before. It still pushed him to overwhelming anxiety and regret some days, his old insecurities bubbling up and choking him, but he was still very bluntly trying to live his truth.

 

Phil, on the other hand, still searched desperately for privacy; the push to be open more of a struggle for him than Dan these days. It wasn’t pride, necessarily. He was more confident in some ways and could brush off the opinions around him like it was nothing. Instead, Phil saw everything practically. What would this do for their business, their image, the people around them, their relationship, their comfort. He’d be left deep in thought, trying to play out every cause and effect in his head so they could make the absolute best decision.

 

Even Dan thought they might hit some hard lines today, reminiscent of so many disagreements they’d had already, fighting each other instead of fighting the battle they went through together.

 

“No. I think we should throw it out. I’ll shoot in the living room, or something. These are gross now, anyways,” Phil said eventually. Dan just nodded at the nonchalance, knowing much more was racing through Phil’s mind.

 

“And what will I do when I get sick of you and want the bed to myself?” Dan asked, not being able to contain his smile anyways. Phil pushed his shoulder roughly. Dan just grabbed the sheets and threw them to one side of the room.

 

“Garbage pile,” He said in agreement.

 

Later on, they filled up a couple garbage bags and grabbed the rest of the toys in handfuls to scatter around the house. They placed them around the office and in empty corners of tables or shoved onto their board game shelf, a strange contrast to the aesthetic but a homely addition.

 

***

 

Dan could have walked through the house over and over again. He was proud of this, of the colour scheme and the decorations, how big and pretty this space was. It felt like a weight off his chest to have this space that was theirs, so personal and homely, with no outlook of moving anytime soon.

 

“The corners on that table scare me. We’re also going to kill that sofa with our spines in no time,” Phil mumbled. Dan stared around, looking fondly at their television, large and curved with high-end speakers at each end of the room. Whether it was designer clothes or new electronics, Dan still felt a rush at overpriced luxuries.

 

They peeked into the kitchen, all dark wood and marble, with a pantry somehow already filled with crisps and cookies and popcorn that they wouldn’t be able to finish for months.

 

Their bedroom was large and spacious, a king-sized bed taking up most of the room in the centre, something they both decided was necessary so they’d stop suffocating next to each other, though Phil already seemed to be waking up squished to Dan’s side the last couple days.

 

Through the room was a walk-in closet, railings and drawers scattered around, half of the clothes black and the other a rainbow of colours. Next to this door was the master bathroom, large and tiled with a double sink and white lights to flatter any camera.

 

A large rain shower stood in the corner, jets coming out of each direction and a bench against one side. Small showers had been too much of a hazard for both of them to shower at the same time, making the prospect of indulging in such a luxury seem necessary.

 

They finally walked to the end of the hallway, pushing open two doors of rooms that were completely bare, just cream carpet and small windows at the end of each one, looking out into their garden.

 

They stared for a few moments anyway, observing each corner of the rooms, walking in and out. Boring cream walls and hardwood that would surely change to be bright and colourful in the next few years, plans of space-themed wallpaper and animal lights already dancing through their daydreams.

 

“I think we need to settle down a bit, first,” Phil said, turning on the spot, his imagination probably running wild as he looked around.

 

“Yeah. We’ll figure it out,” Dan said, bumping his shoulder into Phil’s.

**Author's Note:**

> PS: [this](http://phriendship.tumblr.com/post/171952969992/tyleroakley-minipine-phandirectory-you) is the green toy Dan was so emotional about
> 
>  
> 
> [reblog on Tumblr if you'd like!!](http://det395.tumblr.com/post/172897102837/belongings)
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you enjoyed


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